Although we are bombarded with idealised images of Christmas being a time of great joy and happiness for family, for families that are separated, it can be a time of increased pressure and misery. So we’ve pulled together a few last minute tips to make the festive break a little easier for everyone who finds themselves sharing time with their children.
1. Stick to the plan
By now you should have agreed how your children will spend time with each of you. Make a careful note of the dates/times and handover arrangements and be sure to stick to them. This will avoid any misunderstandings and arguments later.
2. Make the handover as easy as possible
You may feel tempted to make things difficult for your awkward ex, but is it really worth giving your children a negative memory of separated parents squabbling at Christmas. If seeing each other is too difficult, is there anyone else who may be able to help at hand-over such as grandparents or friends?
3. Think about grandparents and other family relatives
When families separate it can be difficult for children to maintain the close relationship they may have previously enjoyed with grandparents and extended family over Christmas. Consider ways of enabling the children to spend time with their other relatives over the festive period, so that they maintain their network.
4. When your ex is unable or unwilling to see their child on the day.
A phone call or a letter on the day can help children feel connected and valued. So if your child’s other parent seems to have lost interest, it might be worth encouraging them to at least send a card.
5. Don't compete with presents
If you are buying presents separately, try to agree who will buy what to avoid duplication and to avoid a popularity contest. It is particularly difficult if one parent has more money than the other or if finances have been the subject or argument, but a present-giving contest is in no one’s best interest.
6. Make your own plans
If you are unable to see or contact your children, it can seem a bleak and painful time of year, particularly if this is your first Christmas without your children or without your husband, wife or partner. Take some time in advance to think about how you might feel and try to break tradition by making plans to spend some time with friends or relatives.
Finally if you are still unable to agree contact arrangements, seek advice. You may still be even to sort things in relation to Christmas contact for this year. We have a specialist team of family and children law solicitors can discuss with you the various options available to help.
Contact our family team on 01827 317070 or family@pickerings-solicitors.com.
Susan Davies - Head of Divorce & Finance Richard Westley - Head of Children Law
