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Platonic Co-Parenting is simply about two or more people who decide to jointly raise a child without having been in a romantic relationship with each other.
The reasons for choosing platonic co-parenting vary widely. It could be an arrangement between a gay couple and a lesbian couple, or even between two heterosexual friends, amongst other scenarios. Whatever the reason, it's a choice made in the child's best interests.
This route of parenthood is a complex process in terms of the law, for both parties to become legal parents and you should always appoint a family solicitor to advise.
Before deciding to co-parent platonically
It's essential to think about your co-parenting partner and how you both will manage your relationship as parents.
It's vital to set out clear expectations, establish shared parenting values, and address practical matters.
Primary things to consider include:
- Undergoing health and fertility screenings.
- Choosing the conception method, whether that's home insemination, artificial insemination at a clinic, or IVF.
- Determining who will be the legal guardian and who will hold parental responsibility for the child.
It's wise to seek guidance on these issues and to have in-depth discussions with your potential co-parent before making a commitment.
What is involved in a platonic co-parenting agreement?
If you have chosen to start a family together, you might consider formalising a pre-conception or platonic co-parenting agreement, which Pickerings Solicitors can help you with.
This agreement aims to document your mutual intentions and set out clear expectations for both parties. A typical platonic co-parenting agreement might cover:
- Attendance at antenatal appointments and the birth.
- Deciding on the child’s name.
- How you will share with the child the story of their origins.
- Health beliefs, such as views on vaccinations.
- Perspectives on education, including school selection, potential private fees, and engagement in school activities like parents evenings, school reports and attendance at school events.
- Childcare arrangements, considering options like childminders, nannies, or nurseries.
- Strategies for addressing challenging behaviour.
- Decisions on introducing the child to a religious faith.
- Scheduling the time the child will spend with each parent, considering occasions like birthdays, Christmas, and school holidays.
- Financial support and contributions for the child, including potential maintenance, life insurance, and provisions in case of a parent's death.
However, these agreements aren't enforceable under UK law, so trust between co-parents is essential. This reliance on trust can lead people to naturally be concerned about what might happen in the future in the event of a disagreement.
Even if the agreement isn't legally binding, seeking guidance from a family law solicitor to draft your platonic co-parenting agreement can be beneficial. During your discussions with the solicitor, you may be able to iron out any concerns for the future and build them into the agreement.
Who will hold the legal parent status?
Regardless of how the baby is conceived, the woman carrying the child is immediately acknowledged as the legal parent and listed on the birth certificate.
When co-parenting, deciding who will be noted as the second legal parent on the birth certificate and given parental responsibility is crucial.
Determining who can be legally named as a parent can vary based on the situation and how the family is set up.
What are the steps for a heterosexual pair planning on platonic co-parenting?
For a single woman co-parenting with a man, he can be recognised as the legal parent by being listed on the birth certificate, either during registration or later via a Statutory Declaration of Parentage or court order. If conceiving via a licenced sperm donation clinic, both must consent to his legal parenthood before starting, often termed as "known sperm donation". Using a clinic is recommended; home artificial insemination depends on the mother's subsequent commitment to acknowledge the father on the certificate.
What if I am a 3 parent family?
Legally, only two parents can be named on a birth certificate. If three parties, such as a single woman and a gay couple, wish to co-parent, only one male partner and the woman can be listed as legal parents. The third person can acquire parental rights either as a step-parent or through a court order. This ensures they have equal decision-making authority in the child's upbringing, even if they're not on the birth certificate. It's vital to understand the process for a Parental Responsibility Agreement and the legalities of sperm donation, egg freezing, and surrogacy.
How to resolve conflict with platonic co-parenting issues?
If disagreements occur, consider mediation or having family law solicitors negotiate on your behalf. Effective communication and setting realistic expectations are crucial.
If issues persist, options include round-table meetings with solicitors, arbitration, or court applications. Court orders can address specific issues, prohibit actions, or define child arrangement specifics.
When considering platonic co-parenting it's essential to consult with a solicitor to understand your rights and responsibilities in the process. For further details contact Richard Westley on 01827 317070 or email family@pickerings-solicitors.com
